Ever since I have had this job change it seems that I have no time or energy to write. And for someone like myself who lives and breathes by expression through words I believe I have suffocated enough. And just to get the noodle on the functioning side I have a pot of coffee and a quiet setting on a perfect Saturday morning.
If you take all the time in the world (which some people say they have) there should be extra time to dabble in all the things one wants to do. And for me it mainly consists of “stuff” on a creative level whether it is music, poetry, blogging and even playing in the dirt in one of my flower gardens. A need to stay busy seems so important even when the other side of the brain says there is a need to shut down and relax a bit.
And there is the problem. How to shut off the whole world and concentrate on what needs to seep out. Never mind the quick blog on how the day went or what I purchased for dinner or who I saw at the tavern. Those are an emotional outlet and are fun to write about but I am speaking of the stuff that makes you feel good when it is finished. And it something of substance that others would want to read or in the case of music listen to. These take time unless you are on a unconscious roll and the words just pour out perfectly onto the screen and they hand you the Pulitzer prize for best bullshit without leaving a stain.
In hopes that today is that day I will leave this blog with something off the top of my head:
Inside we waste
everything that matters,
casting out feelings
of love and like -
pretending it doesn’t hurt
just as yesterday,
when you walked away.
So today comes
with a sweeping sound
pushing away crumbs,
remnants of our time together -
ghostly shadows of happiness,
the scent of you in bed,
your touch when everything's alright -
moves away beyond grasping.
Killing time in waiting
for a return that will never come,
yet here I sit
looking through dirty glass,
and into it, trying to find the flaw
which drove you to madness -
grew from seed hatred
of a man like me.
Now that felt kind of good. Just to ramble out something meaningless or perhaps it has more meaning than I want to admit. And if it has any sort of meaning for you, just how cool is that.
A short video tribute to time from the band Triumph. Have a listen.