Sunday, June 20, 2010

“Some People Shouldn’t Have Kids”

I would guess that most if not everyone has heard this statement or perhaps had said it at one time or another. And if you really think about it there is truth to it, “some people should have never had kids” for one reason or another and it become very obvious if you take the time to watch what is going on around them.

This group of people can found in all locals, including across the street from my house. And this example may not encompass the reasons perhaps why the statement “some people shouldn’t have kids” is uttered by you from an example you have. And the quote may include only the mother, the father or both parents which to me would be super fucking scary knowing the children would have no refuge from one parent in another.

A Most Scary Mother A Most Scary Mother

The example I have from across the street in my small town, actually a village if you needed to be politically correct, who have just moved into the neighborhood. And I am someone who gives a person the benefit of the doubt, not going completely off of first impressions. But it was quickly understood that we had a mother gone wild situation. And not being around 24 – 7 I can only speak of the situations I see when I’m home. And I don’t put this particular mother in the light of being physically abusive, but we all understand that the emotional scars are just as horrific as the physical ones. The constant screaming at the kid is beyond annoying to me, and I wonder what goes on in the little kids mind as he runs from that loud proclamation from his mother that he is “going to be spanked when she gets a hold of him”. It does become a bit comical see her run after the little guy as he tries to elude her grasp. It is one thing to yell at your kid for being naughty or because they aren’t listening to you. But put this image in your head of a mother screaming for her little boy to come into the house expecting him to obey the 30th time you yell this out. As you can imagine it gets old after a while, hence the revelation of the statement “some people shouldn’t have kids”.

And this reminded me of a movie I had not seen for a very long time which portrays a very famous mother who perhaps heard “some people shouldn’t have kids” uttered behind her back. Below is a short clip of one of the examples:

So where do we put the blame for bad parenting? And who sets the standard of good parenting? What one might value as a good family life others from their viewpoint may think it the wrong way to go. I think it is safe to say that one fact is we are a product of our environment and we could be prone to raise our children the way we were raised, right or wrong. But this is not always the case as I know some who recognize the fact that the way they had been raised wasn’t the best and vowed to ensure their kids be raised in a better environment.

And it always seems the mother gets the most of the blame when portrayed in film, the media, music. This could be because of many reasons but I think the blame for bad and for good parenting falls on both parents. This includes the smothering or total control they may have over their children as depicted in Pink Floyd’s song “Mother”:

So remember the next time you see an example of parenting that you may not agree with, remember to look within first. Give the kids a chance. Let them be children. I will close with the lyrics of a song I wrote some years back based on the obvious conclusion that kids of today, with the many seeming “advantages” of technology, certainly have an upbringing different than when I grew up. From what I remember is a more simple childhood with time to grow in those years gradually, where today most kids need to grow up before they are ready to, or need to. Here is the lyrics to the song “Let The Children Play”:

Let The Children Play ©

Are the good times coming? I don’t know

Are we learning something? I don’t know

Time will tell, we’ll live a spell

Just a little while, just another mile we’ll know

Yeah we’ll know…

There was a crooked man, Momma said

This is the Promised Land, Daddy said

Look at Peter Pan, look what’s in his hand

He walked a crooked mile, gave a little smile

Oh no…

Let the children play

Is it hard growing? I don’t know

Can you stand a little? I don’t know

Get to bed; you won’t get fed

Go away, another day

I don’t know, I don’t know!

Let the children play

Why you take your life? I don’t know

Why you carry a knife? I don’t know

Here’s some cash, make a dash

I’m too tired; maybe I’m wired

I don’t know…

Let the children play

Let The Children Play by Shadows © 1997

So happy Father’s Day to all you dads out there who find it important to raise their children the best way they can.

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